“I’m too fat, I am so ugly, I never have a good hair day.” Now your mouth may be dropping to the floor right now as you read this, but I have heard some women say these things about themselves, and to be quite honest I have said a few of these things about myself in the past. As women we can be our own worst enemy. We can talk down about ourselves so doggedly at times. You’ve probably have a friend that has no problem putting themselves down, or have you caught yourself saying something negative about the way you look? But in recent years, I’ve decided that I will longer to put myself down. Why? Because I know for certain that I would never allow anyone else to say destructive things about me so why would I disrespect myself?
Over the past few years, I have worked with female entrepreneurs by helping them to promote their brand and business by creating visual content. However, when I ask them about using video as a way to stand out from their competition, they shrink back. That’s when I hear the “Negative Nancy” statements. Sometimes, what I hear is much worse, which makes my heart ache. But before we head toward a downward spiral of despair, I tell them, “Before you can step in front of any recording device you must be able to live it, work it, and own it in your life. We are not perfect humans so why do we expect perfection from within. We must stop the madness and get a grip on reality.” That may sound harsh, but I like to be truthful with myself and others.
Sometimes, when we have been hurt, or allowed other people’s negative thinking to fully saturate our thoughts; we tend to adopt it as our own way of life. We may even feel that there is no way to combat these feelings. We wish we could snap of it, but we don’t even know where to begin. This is when we have to stop the madness and get a grip on the reality. We first have to admit that we are not perfect, and we never will, instead say, “Practice doesn’t make perfect, practice makes improvement.” You read right, we must strive for improvement not perfection.
Positive Steps to Take Today
There are practical steps to take that can help alleviate the intensity of our negative emotions that paralyzes us from taking action. When we feel down or anxious over things that we cannot control, it is better to change our routine or environment rather than let damaging thinking occupy our minds. For example you can,
- Leisurely take a walk
- Listen to soothing/inspirational music
- Do some vigorous exercise
- Perform a random act of kindness or a good deed for someone in need
Doing these things may provide some relief or bring some measure of happiness. The key is to stop undesirable thinking in its tracks by focusing our attention on positive thoughts, people, places, and things. Even if it means that we have to practice standing in front of the mirror each day and say, “You are absolutely breathtaking today.” My wish for anyone who has a poor view of themselves is to look at what you’ve accomplished and realize that your journey is not over. Most importantly, you must learn to love yourself.
“No one knows what you’re worth, but you.” Pearl Bailey
What do you when you are paralyzed by fear and negative thinking? Share this article with anyone who you think can benefit from this today, even if it is yourself.
P.S. If you’re a woman who is tired of being a secret and is ready to be a household name. Click here, and let’s chat.