Home Posts tagged 'self-care'

self-care

  • personal growth, women and burnout, work life harmony

    The Silent Burnout Trap: Why Your Need to Be “Always On” is Hurting Your Work-Life Harmony

    It’s Time to Power Down

    We live in the age of the perpetual ping.

    From the moment we wake up, our devices are screaming for our attention: Slack pings, email notifications, group texts, and the endless scroll of social media. We’ve been conditioned to believe that constant responsiveness is a sign of dedication, professionalism, and even love. If you’re not answering that email at 10 PM, are you truly committed? If you don’t reply to that text instantly, do you even care?

    This pressure to be persistently available is more than just a modern inconvenience; it’s a deeply damaging habit that is quietly draining your emotional battery. In this powerful installment of the “Suck It Up, Go It Alone” series, we’re unpacking why this need to be “always on” is not serving you, and how you can take brave action to reclaim your peace.

    The Cause of Your Hyper-Responsiveness

    The truth is, this isn’t just about technology. For many of us, the need to be constantly available is deeply rooted in our past.

    Think back. Were you the child who smoothed over tension, anticipated everyone’s needs, or felt responsible for keeping the peace? For those who grew up feeling they had to earn love or prove their value through their helpfulness, being needed became an identity.

    This is the Identity Trap: the dangerous, subconscious belief that says, “If I’m not available, I’m not valuable.”

    Let me be clear: Your worth is not tied to how quickly you respond or how many fires you put out. That survival strategy may have served you well as a child, but as an adult, it is an emotional drain that is leading you straight to exhaustion. You are valuable, period. Your availability is a choice, not a measure of your worth.

    Burnout Disguised as Dedication

    When you are constantly responding, checking, and anticipating, your nervous system is trapped in a perpetual state of “alert mode.” It never gets a break.

    This hyper-vigilance is the unseen cost of constant availability. It chips away at your peace of mind, manifesting as:

    • Irritability and Fatigue: You’re too wired to rest, and too tired to be present.
    • Resentment: You start to resent the very people you’re trying to care for and serve.
    • Emotional Exhaustion: You are the emotional glue for everyone your spouse, your kids, your parents, your team and the weight is crushing.

    We often label this constant state of “on” as dedication, but I want you to recognize it for what it truly is: burnout disguised as dedication. For some, this is even a trauma response, a hyper-awareness carried into adulthood from homes where peace was conditional on behavior.

    It’s time to stop being addicted to the chaos and start prioritizing your well-being.

    Let’s Reclaim Your Energy and Peace

    The good news is that you can unlearn this habit. You can reclaim your time, your energy, and your peace without losing your impact. It takes brave action, but the reward is a life lived in harmony, not survival mode.

    Here are four practical strategies you can implement today:

    ActionStrategyThe “Why”
    1. Set a Tech BoundaryTurn off all notifications outside of work hours. Create “no phone zones” during dinner, family time, or personal rest.To give your brain and nervous system a much-needed break from constant pings and demands.
    2. Communicate Your AvailabilityClearly state your response times. Example: “I check emails three times a day,” or “My cut-off time is 6:30 p.m. for family time.”People will respect your boundaries when they are clearly communicated and consistently enforced.
    3. Create Micro-Breaks to ResetImplement 5-minute deep breathing or stretching breaks, or a 30-minute “just sit, just be” ritual after work.These small, intentional pauses calm your nervous system and restore focus, preventing the buildup of stress.
    4. Remind Yourself of the TruthInternalize the truth: You are allowed to rest, and you are allowed to be unavailable.The world will keep spinning. Your value is inherent, not conditional on your responsiveness.

    People who love and respect you will understand your need for boundaries. When you clearly communicate your availability, you teach others how to treat you, and you give yourself permission to power down.

    The Takeaway: Persistent availability is a silent burnout trap. By taking these brave actions, you can stop trading survival mode for strategies that help you truly thrive in your career, life, and everything in between. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to be unavailable. And the world will keep spinning.

    Listen to the full episode of Work It, Live It, Own It for a deeper dive into this topic

  • personal growth, Self image

    Why Suffering in Silence is Holding You Back

    So many women in the sandwich generation — balancing careers, caregiving for aging parents, and raising kids — have been conditioned to “suck it up.” We tell ourselves it’s just what strong women do: hold it all together, sacrifice our own needs, and push forward without complaint. But here’s the hard truth: that mindset is not strength; it’s survival mode. And over time, it erodes our health, our relationships, and our sense of self.

    In his book Triage Your School, Dr. Christopher Jenson highlights three main areas where stress silently takes its toll: physical health, emotional well-being, and relational health. Those areas don’t just apply to schools — they apply to every woman trying to hold too much together. Ignoring them leads to resentment, disconnection, and full-blown burnout.

    Let’s break that down:

    Physical health – Stress shows up as fatigue, headaches, or even chronic conditions. When you keep pushing through, your body eventually forces you to pay attention.

    Emotional well-being – “Sucking it up” often means stuffing down feelings. That emotional silence turns into irritability, anxiety, or numbness.

    Relational health – When you never speak your needs, the people around you can’t support you. Distance grows, and loneliness sets in.

    These costs are hidden at first, but they’re very real. And they’re the reason why silence and self-sacrifice can’t be the badge of honor we wear anymore.

    A Practical Reset

    Here are two small but powerful steps you can take this week to break the silence:

    1. Journal one area where you’ve been “sucking it up.” Maybe it’s taking on extra work at the office, caring for a parent without asking siblings for help, or agreeing to commitments you don’t have the bandwidth for. Write it down — naming it is the first step to changing it.
    2. Say it out loud to someone you trust. Share your journal entry with a friend, spouse, or mentor. Speaking the words creates connection and signals to your brain that you don’t have to carry it all alone.

    It’s not about dumping every burden at once. It’s about creating tiny cracks in the silence so your truth — and your needs — have room to breathe.

    The Bottom Line

    Dr. Jenson’s framework reminds us that no system—schools, families, or our own lives—can thrive without good staffing, communication, and resources. The more you suffer in silence, the weaker those areas become. Real strength isn’t in silence or self-sacrifice; it’s in asking for help, setting boundaries, and making sure your resources are protected so you can thrive.